The Man Meets His Boy (Peeling Off the Inner Scar of the Child)

This is an investigation of the inner child within ~ When there was a time in life that involved a dissolved sense of Awe & childlike Curiosity. Noting an experience when innocence disappeared. The Bold Letters represent words of wisdom from evolved self, meeting the young boy, while he is being seduced and consumed by realities edge. 

 

Inspired by my brother Kiefer Avi ~ the truest wizard I know investigating Neurosculpting® 

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In a Realm where... "Once upon a time" existed with an illusive tale of family perfection (understood with an ongoing state of contentment) 

 

There was a Boy who felt a light inside. (and this light expanded infinitely each day.)

 

He smiled, laughed, and joked with his family; feeling the love. 

 

The Boy and The Dog, Weeko, were best friends.

 

They played outside everyday, running through the open backyard amongst the towering trees. 

 

She even played video games with The Boy.

 

The Light inside the Boy began to experience an rooftop that enclosed his heart with each passing year. (However, his light held a center of Truth and Radiance that could never be dimmed.)

 

The Parents yelled. The Parental's fought. (But The Boy smiled and was told by spirit, everything will be okay.)

 

One one specific day, The Boy threw his heavy head of confusion & drenched eyes into the Red Leather LOVseat, feeling everything was his fault. (The Boy would cry openly, knowing that tears were the signs of emotional clarity in his hurt and produced freedom.) 

 

A fantasy world of anxiety arose when The Boy felt he could fix everything. (The Boy knew he was responsible for his thoughts and actions alone, no one else's.) 

 

But. He couldn't. (The Boy listened to the Intuitive Stream of how to Be. He simply could... BE.)

 

The Aloneness crept upon him each night, keeping The Sandman away from recalling the boy to the dream world. (Until the stillness of meditation revealed Life As It Truly Is in the present moment.) 

 

So, upon another day, in the midst of the moonlight, The Boy decided to crawl out of his bed.

He Tip-toed down the hallway.

 

Walked through the living room and lay down on the ground next to the kitchen door, which had closed, just moments before his stealthy arrival.

 

The Parental's had hoped to keep the decibel of their voices low from the assumed sleeping Boy. (The Boy was waking up.)

 

The Boy laid in the dark room, feeling the cold wooden floor, with squinted eyes from the kitchen light as it pierced through the crevice under the door. 

 

The Boy heard his name strung together with Earth Shattering thoughts and stories. (Destiny unfolded with a wellspring of strength and confidence to be integrated throughout The Boys life.)

 

He cried and tried to not make a sound. 

 

But He did. (Angels held The Boy.) 

 

The door opened and they sweetly said with grave concern, "How did you get there?" Praying The Boy did not overhear the topics of their imminent separation. (He learned to accept that which is beyond our control.) 

 

Pretending to know nothing, The Boy played 'dead', wondering what that would be like. He Still Does. (The Boy is so blessed to be alive & radiates loving kindness with each blink of his eye.) 

 

The Parents walked The Boy to bed. 

 

The days, months, & years went by. (With an anticipation of a great mystery unfolding...)

 

Anxiety, Self-doubt, and worry through conviction kept the boy second guessing relationships, school, and every facet of decisions in his life. (He tasted True Love, Friendship, Ecstasy, and Trust in The Universe. Thus, helping the boy truly open his eyes for the first time.)

 

The inner wisdom became quiet. (Until He began to see himself in others.)

 

Disconnection from nature became real when video games took precedent. (Interconnectedness synchronized his heart into the vibration of all beings -- and He fell in Love.) 

 

Negative fantasies, violent projections, & distrust in the earthly world had initiated. (Helpful stories of wealth in the Tribe were whispered through the winds. Cosmic Creations of Expansion and True Understanding of the world at hand began to unfold.)

 

Then the world began with each day being a new challenge to wake up against and step forward into. (Each day became a blessing to open two eyes and experience the gift of air that is his breath.)

 

The Man had met The Boy inside. Years passed, twenty six to be exact. Love grew. And He Knew.

The world was huge

no longer caged by Fear. 

The walls went in every direction and they

Never

Stopped.

The World became the Playground.

He learned from others to spread his Thesis of Love. 

He dotted the 'I's and crossed the 'T's; and began his mission.


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with love in the heart of this Universe, I Give Thanks

with love in the heart of this Universe, I Give Thanks

 

 

 

 

Churning Shadow; Food Healing Light

The Man returned to a place where stress, depression, and daily challenge was strung together with anxiety, bringing the boy into a perpetual state of confusion. Thankfully, this was a just a chapter of a way of life that no longer existed as solidly as the ground he walks upon now. 

Louisville, My Old Kentucky Home.

Through the grace of Maktub, that which is writtenYoga Happened. The boys eyes' began to evolve into the young man whose eyelids became partially open, seeing a little more, day by day.  

The past six years, he returned home for just a few days, keeping in awareness The Willow Tree (which was a catalyst to the birth of embodying LOVELiFE). The Tree helped him peep his eyelids open for the first time at his nineteenth year of life, but it was just a glimpse into truth. Now, we are on the search for said reality. 

Through these past six years, Yoga has grounded down past patterns of Being & Anxiety that once ruled each moment.

Especially now • 

More than ever • 

The Young Boy Felt Like A Man Walking Upon Ash With The Essence Of Love Imbued Within

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Dear, Body.

I am so grateful you are able to pay attention to the quality of thought in our mind, the texture of air that courses through our lungs. I love you SO much. It's been quite a journey coming to Love Who We Are. That Asia trip was pretty tough on you. I'm Glad Eddie Modestini gave us something to stabilize and optimize our energy systems, we needed it. Desperately. I promise to share what feels good to you with the world! These Superfoods help you with sustained energy, deep restful sleep, and focused productivity when we need to Lock It In. This is a blessing that has pacified our morning Hanger concerns from your crazy fast metabolism! How cool it is to feel so level and grounded upon waking up! Body, I'm excited to be on this journey of life with you! 

Love,

Your Soulful Companion known as Alec

 

Physical Body says, "Wow, Alec, We Feel Amazing!! Keep Doing What You're Doing And Put This Superfood In Your Body Every Single Day! It's Making A Huge Difference!"

Emotional Body says, "No. You're Sad. Dip Your Heart Into This Experience Of Grief. We Miss Matt."

One of a Dozen Stories passing through the field of awareness: "YOU'RE ALIVE! And Matt would want us to be living each moment, STOKED to breathe this fresh air and start this new amazing project of sharing superfoods!!! He is also so hyped that there's someone out inspiring you to Write more, Make decisions based on your TRUTH; not circumstances of life, as well as having you to think twice about how this could potentially make you a better human being. Wow... We are so BLESSED to ALIVE! This simple and overly shared statement has become a truth that is felt for the first time. 

There's this other story that plays through the field, less now than it has for a few weeks. We don't feel its worth the negative play of words, as to not taint your beautiful canvas of thought. So... 

INSPIRE YOUR WORLD WITH YOUR THESIS OF LOVE.

I know someone who does this with each word written and spoken; and it continues to train our mind with ways of Being that are tantalizing to consider. It is a Shot of Awe. Every time! 

 

Another story that sharing superfoods has produced

I AM FINANCIALLY ABUNDANT BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS AND I HELP OTHERS BECOME FINANCIALLY ABUNDANT BEYOND THEIR WILDEST DREAMS!

 

So, the point being of this share; 

I just started working with this company that makes organic, Non-GMO products that are powerfully effective in helping people get Healthy, address health concerns, alter habitual relationships in eating, as well as making a solid second stream of income. This has proved to be a positive area for me to place my attention and focus, when things have been hard to place energy in. I feel grateful for a platform to express new forms of energy and creativity in! Feeling the call to SHARE! 

I am Looking for people who want to share this as a positive business prospect together; providing a healing modality for the planet, your body, and other peoples lives! Aligning with the mission to better our world! 

I'd love to share with you, the Reader, my friend, these amazing superfoods that have changed my life as a Human Being, A Yoga Student, Teacher, and as a waking mover of energy in the day. Let's connect! 

 

Bowing to the flow of shadows that are in flux each day, revealing the Light In Life. 

Remember, You Are So Beautiful.

You Make A Difference Each Day.

 

 

all my love,

 

alec

Wholesome Concentration

I've heard it many times before.  

 

You are Always Whole. 

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Sure doesn't always feel like it though, eh?  

 

I've spent the past six months traveling through 7 countries, various cultures, cautiously stepping foot into unknown territory. Keeping points of awareness in discerning that which is of Soulful Vibration and that which is no. I have steeped myself in half a dozen religions and their respective sacred spaces of prayer. The universe, spirit, source, mrytle, or god; all these words are extremely loaded with the same resonance of intention. I became such, learning and remembering what I knew all along, but refused to believe until the world brought me into a state of Global Citizenship. Everything I seek is within me. I'm probably going to forget that soon and I will pray that the Language of the Universe reminds me through its omens & signs. 

Many days upon my travels I experienced aloneness. Before I departed for Asia, I had a bitter taste of feeling far from myself while in Colorado, so I did one thing I know how to do.

I left.

To find answers in Earth, in the reflections of people ///  

 /// in myself. 

 

Through the gift of my teachers, I recalled on my strength and willpower to create a foundation for my travels. The Practice of LIFE and living Yoga beyond postures and the importance of the internal landscape. Being in the world as a Beacon of Yoga; despite feeling shattered at times. 

Yogi.

To seek comfort in my discomfort became the theme of my time in Asia. Cultivating a continued relationship with the chaos of this heart, mind, and its interactions with the surrounding world. 

Myanmar held me in Vipassana <translating to insight> during my final ten days in Southeast Asia. Ten days of mindfulness meditation. This was the final additive to the mixture of re-wiring patterns and stabilizing the ground these feet walk upon, with conviction and unapologetic fluid fire for BEING alive. 

Now.  I could feel the ground beneath me for what felt like the first time ever! Least would I know, it wouldn't be for too long. 

 

As each day passed by from April 4th and on, I remember thinking, "I'm so close to being home. I can do this. Soon, I'll be with my whole tribe and it will be so amazing!" 

 It was more than thinking. This was a deep feeling that spanned over the internal abyss of awareness. A visceral feeling of warmth, deep truth of love spawning from each cell as this thought entered my heart space, emanating and expanding vibrationally each day more, just as April 16th would hastily spin by.  

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Indeed, April 16th came and the day was filled with dense blackness. I was living in the Upside Down World, far from my projected utopia of Tribe connection.

My breath was stale

heavy

and desperate

for a sniff of forgiving truth. 

 

Yet, in my process of seeking contentment, Maya seemed to have held me so sweetly in the illusion. In my dreadful sadness, life's fleeting beauty began to glow, even though life had been broken. 

Oh, the illusion, how could you be so raw, so real?

This is real life?

What is this?

Who am I?

Where am I? 

Now... 

I can't feel the ground...

 

lets rewind.  

 

I've been touched by the champagne sabering angel, Matthew Wayne Lackey, who died on April 10th at around 2 something o'clock, Claimed by Mount Princeton at age 31. One of America's top chefs would not be picking me up at the airport on April 16th, 2017, completing the cycle of him dropping me off at DIA on October 28th, 2016. It seems our mortal promises were far too mere, as the White Mountain Goats had a different contract for Matt to accept on this day.

I found out Matt left his earthly body at 1:30am on April 11th while in LA for business with Yoga Revealed Podcast. 5 hours later I was on the first flight to Colorado. 

I spent six months stabilizing the ground I walked on, excited and humbled to share this new sobered expression of myself with my tribe. Yet, upon my early return to Colorado, I was met with solemn quietude, foggy confusion, and eyes that could see nothing in front of me. There was an opacity in my eyes created by Deaths Earth shattering Reality. Life installed new programs that had never undergone navigation and review, which led to why nothing could be seen, despite my eyes being open.

Or maybe they are closed?  

Wake the fuck up!

Oh, bless. I don't know anymore. And that's okay.  

 

Just as the rug was pulled out from underneath me, the world flipped upside down and time stopped

and  

I kept falling 

But I hit no ground

.

there was only groundlessness

.

In this space of the float, I met Matt. 

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I was a walking ghost, next to my tribe, yearning to connect with Matt Lackeys Astral body. Wearing his rose shirt, SAXX underwear, pants, shoes, jacket, and hat; I began to experience the waves of grief in their relentless onslaught.

Oh, by the way. This has been one of the most beautiful, expansive, transformative, and f'ing radical experiences in these young twenty six years walking along this planet. . 

Spiritually connected in a new way. Transcending any experience of phsycadelic or yogic 'high' this is a new form of prayer that has awakened within me.

This new prayer consists of me simply opening my eyes each day and holding thanks for SIGHT, AIR, and LIFE.

For 20 days my canvas was Black. Where my canvas was once white with colors lucidly creating art before my eyes. This life force was created by a magical blessing of kinetic energy that shot from my fingers, which are my magic wands of creation. The stagnancy of illusion held me without a single thought of how I could even attempt to begin anew. My colors that once flowed from my fingers onto the canvas of life were barely landing on the target, and even if they did, the darkness was far too steep in its depth for the colors to make a mark. 

Thankfully, I enjoy drowning in the darkness.... 

 Once I drown, I get to recreate the vision of what once was. (It took me a while to believe this). 

There are five primary stages of grief. 

Denial. 

Anger. 

Bargaining. 

Depression. 

Acceptance. 

This is the physiological structures for the framework that aligns with the processesing of our lost fellow humans. 

Death Anxiety.  

These are all stops on the timeline of our temporary physical human life, yet mere mili blinks of experience on the continuous timeline of our soul's journey. 

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So, I returned to a dead best friend, a disarray of a home situation, and a complete mind whiplash of the past 6 months I had experienced. The past 3 days I have begun to FEEL the ground beneath me.

there has been a shift and I think Matt had something to do with it.

I don't really know how to end this, because it doesn't really have an inspiring message other than:

Please, let your friends know you LOVE them, even if you, well, don't really. Tell 'Em you do. your eyes can do that too.

music has helped, friends have helped, and to my surprise, sending messages that I'm initially super nervous to send has proved to always be a good idea. Keep doing that. Dance more in the street like everyone and no one is watching. 

 

 

 

 

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LOVEtriBE never dies. The story continues, I love you, Hi ❤️ 

Exerpt for LAyoga Magazine; Yoga Revealed in India

hello, my friends! I am SO overdue for an in depth writing of experience..... it's coming soon. On April 4th I landed on Maui to be with Eddie Modestini to celebrate my 26th birthday that week! What a true gift!! I am writing this from LA at my beautiful brother Andrew Sealy's house. He asked me to choose three episodes from yoga Revealed since Jan1st and write a few paragraphs about it. He's aubmitting it into LAyoga magazine! Blessed to share this practice and wisdom of experience with the community of LA! How cool! 

 

Soon.... I'll sit down and write about these 6 months in depth once the words are speaking to me in clarity.

 

 

 

prompt- • HOW DO THESE EPISODES RELATE TO MY PATH OF YOGA AND YOGA REVEALED •

 

-All available at www.YogaRevealed.com or iTunes On podcast app-

Eddie Modestini: The Yogi's Journey Towards Inner Peace. 

H.S. ARUN: India's Experience and Experimentation in Yoga

Richard Freeman & Mary Taylor: The Art of Vinyasa; Awakening Body and Mind through the Practice of Ashtanga Yoga

 

 

Fellow yoga seekers on the path, it is a pleasure to be connected to you! My name is Alec Vishal Rouben, Co-Founder of The Yoga Revealed Podcast! This podcast is rooted in sharing the wisdom of our times greatest and most devoted Yoga Teachers, reminding us of the divinity that we originate from. Today I have the honor to share three potent interviews from 4 Masters in their trade. I have spent the last months of 2016 and the first quarter of 2017 traveling the world studying under some of the best Teachers and have their one on one interviews to share with You!

 

We are providing you with the opportunity to trace the lineage of yoga all the way back to Krishnamacharya & two of his primary students, BKS Iyengar and Pattabhi Jois by listening to interviews with senior students of these two renowned gurus. Richard Freeman and Mary Taylor are dedicated to  the practice of Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga and they share their hearts wisdom on our podcast as well as through their recent book release. Eddie Modestini taps into the source of Yoga's healing capabilities and how we can begin the journey towards inner peace. H.S. Arun goes back in time to his 50 years of studentship under Mr. Iyengar and shares his approach to the transformational effects of yoga! These are three of the most profound interviews I collected during my six months of travel across Asia.

 

My time in India left me feeling in awe as I walked over the same ground that ancient yogi's once practiced upon. Knowing that all my teachers (whom I share with you in these podcasts) have strong tethers of studentship in Mother India. Living with Eddie Modestini for three months changed my life and propelled me into the chasing what revealed itself to me as my very own Personal legend. Eddie is a student of Mr. Iyengar & Pattabhi Jois of over 25 years. Modestini holds a level of integrity unseen by Teachers in the modern world. At sixty four, Eddie stands by the healing capacity and transformational effects a consistent yoga practice offers, which further helped me polish and stabilize my intention of what it means to be a Student and Teacher in this path. My Personal Legend and Intention as a Yogi is to transmit the wisdom of Yoga to Millions of people across the planet through the study of the subject of Yoga over the course of my lifetime. This is an intention that India helped me realize just as much as the Yoga Revealed Podcast helped bring to the surface!

 

India is a place of high intensity, steeped in the spirit of BEing. A country where the nature of Soul is looped in Birth and a Death, reBirth and Reincarnation, seeking liberation. This is a land where countless deities are prayed and called upon daily in ritual and prayer. The people of India have a belief system that is different than how many of us operate, here in the states. There is something we all can learn from one another. Not only does installing ourselves in the understanding of the nature of the Soul, but also cultivating a state of Faith for our human condition bring us to seek acceptance to life's circumstances with contentment.

 

India is a cocphany of sights, sounds, and smells. There is a relentless barking of dogs that sound off at all hours of the day and night, matched with constant sirens ringing at every octave, piercing any level of what one feels they have as patience. Sounds enticing, right? I believe it becomes imperative in a yogi's path to travel outside their comfort zone and go to a place such as India where the roots of Yoga began and experience life Truly As It Is. The Yogi is ever present with whatever is arising in the field of the mind, as it arises, without great attachment (raga) or aversion (dvesha) to the momentary experience. The yogi is aware of the passing moment. India teaches this and More!

 

Andrew Sealy and myself, Alec Vishal Rouben are here to share with you the teachers who can help you take the next step in your yogic evolution! Stay tuned with us on instagram through @yogarevealed, @aleclovelifeyoga, and @andrew7sealy! You can find us as this summers most potent yoga gatherings; Hanuman Festival in Boulder, Colorado June 2017 & Wanderlust Lake Tahoe June 2017!

 

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Upon returning from asia; my body was feeling depleted in light of health, real energy, and a feeling of vibrancy. The day I saw Eddie, he blessed me with protein Amino Acids, superfoods green shakes which uplifted me to NEW heights! If you want to experience these superfoods that I am on; send me a message and I can share more info with you. Dedicated to healing on numerous levels for us all!! 

 

I will write soon.  

 

I love you so much!  

.

The Alchemy of Listening

Sunrise on Gili Meno, Lombok

Sunrise on Gili Meno, Lombok

I am nearing the apex of my time abroad, three months, which has gracefully had me land in Ubud, Bali; a total homecoming from India's epic kiln of transformation. Two years ago during this week, I was in Bali! It has been a profound mirror of the growth I have made internally and in this walk of life I am projecting my efforts into. I have visited similar sites and many new sacred grounds, which have provided deep reflection for me; soon I will share a particular conversation I had with the ocean as a means of prayer (PachaMama). Today is my last day in Bali and tomorrow I embark into new territory of Vietnam to meet a boulder sushi chef I have befriended over the past five years, Thang & we shall celebrate Vietnamese New Year! Then I will motorbike up the coast with my wizard brother Kiefer! 

 I had a very strong intention to begin this trip: 

to study. To learn. To grow, to evolve myself as a yogi.  

Water element magnetizing me  

Water element magnetizing me  

These three months of study with Eddie Modestini have come to an end, cultivating a widened lens of what exists in myself and in the world. I am letting the residue of intense study settle into its place in my practice, which I continue to keep while traveling. It consists of a few postures, depending on what my body needs and when I can find a chair to use support. Sitting meditation with chanting of prayers and Yoga Sutras always vibrates me into stillness. Nevertheless, I have recognized a certain level of guilt in my stillness and in my movement being carried by my heart and shoulders. (Oh, how I love to carry the world; sweet boy, rest your hands and arms) . I have looked into myself & in observation as to why I experience unease when someone says to me, "I'm jealous of your experience." I've heard this a lot in my life, which I can express a humble bow of •thank you• for recognizing me- but hey... anything and everything is available to you, you create the magic in your life.

I have - with the help of my tribe. Let's get into this guilt experience and navigate it, see what pierces through....I have felt guilt and wasteful in my past, I have seen shame in my own self realizations from which yoga has brought to the forefront of my awareness. I feel guilt for running away from Boulder. I can tell you a million reasons why I'm traveling for the next four months that produce positive qualities and experiences in my being of transformation. Deep down• I fear growing up. I have seen my fear for over one year that I need to get surgery (and we have April 18th scheduled, baby, and I'm so excited for you to heal) and..... I fear getting a job. I have everything I fear lined up when I get back to Boulder in April and I will face myself with love and compassion. Thankfully lots of my brothers are business owners and I'm stoked to work for my homie Matt Lackey at his new restaurant. 

Motorbike through rice fields of Western Bali

Motorbike through rice fields of Western Bali

 

Gili Air Island

Too much grace for words.... alas, I have been told to share my experience instead of not. Especially when I asked (with a sarcastic abrasive tone).... "Should I just become an ascetic and go into the hills?"  

I have asked Mother Earth if I may step into her womb of water before walking forward.  

With humility, recalling my inferior size to the power of Prakriti (Nature, Earth, Ocean, Wind, Elements, creative power) that has been produced in my psyche from my past involvement with Psilocybin. (High schools experiencing experiment to find out how to LIVE and be Alive).

In the face of an impending storm passing over the ocean, one cannot help but feel.... small- and connected to the inner landscape of thought that pours in and pierces the soul. This is what happens when we connect with nature. We get clear.  

 

Holy Water of Tampaksiring

Holy Water of Tampaksiring

Step by step, he walks a football fields distance or more into her membranous waters, where the waves brush no higher than his lower thighs. Hands at side grazing the waters which concoct thought to keep moving, never allowing stagnancy to be present in the face of water's ever moving wisdom. Water waves vibrate pass his body in a focused commotion. Skies stirred with a dark palate of grey, black, white, and holes of deep dark blue, paving the runway of presence to unfold before our very own eyes. 

 

My prayer begins with chants that have become apart of consciousness, invoking the Guru of deities and of myself to reveal the wisdom within. 

"I am Here, I am With You. You are No Different," I hear. 

I said, I want to be a spiritual man, and in my own judgement and minor scoff, I asked myself, what does that mean?  

I wish to be a man of many cultures, religious awareness, interconnected to the universal seam of what connects all of us as sentient and nonsentient beings. To be a man of the world, bound together by love- destined to share and rejoice in the awakening of brothers and sisters, supported and to be a supporter, listener and a talker, giver and receiver- I wish to see. I pray To awaken and help others. 

Ah, the cloud of doubt: 

"what if I'm not worthy? Who am I even? What am I to do to make money and self sustain myself? How will I raise a child one day?"

The wind hit me hard. Slapping me as I almost spiraled into playing a tormenting game of twenty-one questions. She whispered, you look outside for all your answers, go deep into yourself, into the stem of the chord of life and wait there. A Vipassana is coming. Prepare. She spoke more words that traveled to the depths of my root.  

Then I heard the sound of mantra, "I AM." Just as brahma had heard his mantra, LAM, when he discovered the answers were in the stem of his red lotus flower he so meditatively sat upon for thousands of years.

Me: "I am ready for divine love to come, I am here doing my work. I will walk forward alone until we cross paths and ———" 

A wave crashed into my belly, forcing me a few steps back, splashing me in the face •. Interrupting my thought sequence of aloneness...

Sunset on Gili Air, Lombok

Sunset on Gili Air, Lombok

(aloneness is very important and should be cultivated in relationship with self)

"Look Around...."

 

I looked to my left and my right, water in all directions and I felt an electrical pulse rise up the arches of my feet, through my hands and brighten the pupils in my eyes, raising my antennae of awarensss. I saw all my best friends, brothers and sisters of LOVETRiBE linked in elbows surrounding me. I felt the tether of a tribes love for one - and for all of its members- boundless by time, space, age, or situation; a great affinity for the musical adventure that is friendship shine through every cell of my body. The LOVEtriBE vibe is something I will always have to bring a genuine smile of light to my face.

I blinked •  and spirits strength of all my friends flew into my chest and I was whelmed in the arms of my tribe. 

Standing alone in an ocean churned by The Wind, never have I felt so close to my friends despite being on the other side of the planet. I felt strong and happily alone in my being. Doing my work of strengthening the relationship I have with Alec Vishal Rouben. 

It was humbling to carry a conversation with myself and the water, which served as a reflection for me to gaze towards my highest self- mirror of divinity and universal truth.  

 

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Burning man Feels while biking through the roads of a Gili Air! )'( 

Burning man Feels while biking through the roads of a Gili Air! )'( 

 

I feel great gratitude to ocean waters for their cleansing qualities - and the fierce truth that comes through. 

i have come across great synchronicity while traveling- and it is something that always shows me I'm on the right path- from something as small as paying attention to numbers that show up throughout the day. 

 

In commentary on my conversation with the call of invoking divine love ---

i have always yearned for love, for partnership. I've had two potent relationships and partners, both which transformed me as a human being and shared with the world what it is like to live from my heart. 2016 was a year for myself- to be alone and not be in relationship, that was for sure and I took it with as much grace and watched the mindful hiccups and stumblings as teachings. It seems to be- I am doing my best to •stop• looking around for the ever mysterious her. After all, I'm a sucker for love💕. I do indeed, want to enjoy this time of being young, single, free, and happy- be open to all that is here and all that is coming my way. Manifesting great synchronistic connection on my travels - and while home - for when I travel deep into my body during surgery healing process. It is a gift to have a daily displined practice, to be able to nourish myself with good food, a massage here and there(love this about Asia!) and each moment more I spend developing my connection to myself- just in its potency, the many She's of my life are doing the same. 

We hear it all the time, before we truly love someone else, we must spend time loving ourselves and getting to know ourselves. I do believe I am doing work on myself while traveling; continuing to seek situations that are out of my comfort zone. 

 

"Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things • Air, Sleep, Dreams, The Sea, The Sky- all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of It." - Cesare Pavese 

 

 

This quote truly sits with me. If you've traveled and you read this a few times, let the experience of No Control of This Situation run into your body (which I'm sure you've felt before If you've crossed over the pond) and these are the things that provide great solace. All things leading towards spirit nature.   

Traveling gets you closer to knowing yourself - watching patterns, tendencies, and growing appreciation for what we have in the world, for what we have within ourselves, which nobody can take away. Although I've felt like I'm running away from something in Boulder- indeed, I was running away from my own fear in myself. Acknowledging this has allowed me to view myself from a different lens, and provides a procession of action to take place. 

 

 And then..... in the glimpse of the sunshine, the most playful part of Alec sprouted out of the Muck of Challengeing thought and said,

 

"YOU be playful, be soft, have fun, LOVE LIFE. You are beautiful and too hard on yourself. Go on, do the thing, be the man, be the boy. You got it" 

 

thoughts concluded. 

Off off to explore my last hours in Bali - peace peace peace for now and off to Vietnam!  

 

 

 

 

Passport and Fine Whiskey in the airports. A present time favorite :)  (Kentucky homegrown yogi, baby!)  

Passport and Fine Whiskey in the airports. A present time favorite :)  (Kentucky homegrown yogi, baby!)