Hello, Friend! self, Universe, God, Ishvara, fellow human being. I hope you're doing well.
I haven't wrote for a while! I am going to share an exciting Update about the healing of my shoulder and wrist, revealing potent methods that have helped me on my journey. As well as navigate the major milestones in life that brought me to yoga in the first place. It is so important for us to not FORGET WHERE WE COME FROM!
My Yoga Journey started in 2011. I began to explore yoga midway through my first relationship, with a women i saw as the LOVE of my LIFE! She is beautiful and divine. If she's reading this, I love you! Come the end of this relationship, I felt as if Life could have ended... The only thing that made sense for me anymore was showing up onto my mat and breathing....learning how to breathe... Yoga Revealed itself to me. With the end of this first relationship, Yoga became a dedication. After showing up with a hurt heart....the heart began to heal. So once I felt healing...I could move on...I kept practicing. It made sense. I was put on this planet to practice Yoga. Stay Student.
So over the next 2.5 years, I would spend time with myself...practicing....finding more commitment to yoga, creating a new sense of dedication in Teaching! This would be one of the most profound experiences in my life. To Teach Yoga.
After those initial few years, I entered the second relationship of my life with a beautiful person. She grounded me down, creating deep roots into logic, practicality, and self-security. A very beautiful relationship it was- although this relationship has ended come the start of the 2016 New Year, I believe ALL has unfolded in alignment.
I did indeed feel incredibly wounded. I spent time putting pieces of apuzzle together, in conjunction with anothers life-puzzle. When it was time for this relationship to end, I felt as if the pieces to the puzzle fell apart and I had to put myself back together. As if a bridge was broken.
Thankfully....When things have fallen apart in my life, YOGA is here. YOGA does not judge, it does not expect. It simply asks us to be with ourselves.
Having left the relationship...I felt...desperate to get closer to myself. I asked my teacher Ty a question after mysore.
"Ty, How can I find Ishvara?" With a huge knot in my throat, about to tear.
He said, "6 Days week. You Practice."
His answer did not satisfy me. But I humbly Bowed my head and received. 3 months later. Ishvara has been found...she has been felt within..She told me she was ALWAYS here. Stepping into the practice and offering my concerns, anxieties, and self created stories to the breath, to the spirit, to god, to Ishvara, whatever IT is....Handing my burden off... This has helped me find DEVOTION. And it gives me chills to tap in...to something beyond myself. So much greater than just Alec. A devotion to the life. A privilege. A feeling of reverence.
Finding Devotion in Yoga... allows me to find greater Presence in my days.
With this Devotion....I practiced....With an injured shoulder. From October2015 to March16..... I allowed my practice to slow down. I began to move with more integration of Bandha's, feeling the Root, the Mula as the origination of each posture. This is incredibly challenging, more so for the focus of the mind, over the tax it brings to the body. Taking my practice down to 60% energy has proved of high benefit!
My shoulder still hurt. My wrist still hurt. SO....I skipped chaturanga for many months. Gave it some ease. I found ways to practice....while honoring injury, yet it took a while for me to feel like I was not skimping myself out on practice. From Plank, I immediately swooped my pelvis forward and down, pulling the chest through the arms, integrating stronger legs and arms in the weight bearing backbend.(still wearing a nice plated wrist brace). I did this for months and gave my left arm a huge break!
Returning to WHY i got injured: RELENTLESS handstands for years. I injured my wrist, over time, shoulder got pissed off too- and exacerbated by a snowboarding injury. Ego got the best of me....Perhaps i'll share more on that later. I'm totally open to my humility and owning my truth: I went into many asanas for attention, allowing my ego to come out- I retreated back into my heart...navigating the why I had felt such a need to be seen, when I have EVERYTHING I need- inside. Inside of Ishvara.... Inside of the heart. more on that later..
Now to reveal what has healed me from 8/10 Pain level down to a varried 2-3/10 discomfort....which is now truly workable. Its more like Awareness...I know it's still there. It's healing.
Come Feb 2016 I started seeing an acupuncturist. Erin Danowski in Boulder, CO. literally 14 weeks, back to back acupuncture appointments. Slowly but surely, this very visceral method of healing began to work.
- 2 months worth of taking daily Probiotics I got from Pharmica
- daily capsules of Tumeric and Bromelain (inflammatory)
- CASTOR oil- daily rubbing to irritated areas of body. This is also an inflammatory for muscles
- Physical Therapy and actually DOING the exercises prescribed
- KAMBO medicine
- This is the interesting part. I am a believer of mind expansion with substances and medicinal ceremonies. This is Tree Frog Medicine that hunters use before they set out on their hunt for the tribe. It involves receiving a few circular burns and applying Tree frog Poison to the burn....The heart starts to pound and a deep purge comes. Total Release. The following day I felt clear....Question marks of self dissolved for some time...Bringing deep clarity and practicality. I wont say too much more about it...but the following days after, I went into practice and felt more integrated and felt NO pain through the entire practice! read this website to learn more... http://kambomedicina.com/
- https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLFzWUsviPAAAfxyXE567byR-lvay_64g7&v=gTKQXOJK8DE. Put this on! Listen with your heart. It is the tribal thank you song for Kambo Frog medicine. The children and women and men of tribes sit with this medicine to cleanse.
I sit here with a deep reverence in my body. Feeling my impermanence...recognizing the WEEKS of frustration I felt. Deep moments of sadness from loss of relationship, a sense that my body wasn't working properly... and a feeling of brokenness inside of me. Yet....Through consistent practice, devoting myself to Ishvara, I find that I am and always have been whole ~ WE are ALWAYS whole! IT is illusion to feel separate from ourselves. This does not devalue any feeling of pain or hurt inside....But knowing it is a part of the healing process; to become closer to ourselves.
If you read all this....thanks for sharing in the experience of being human. I hope something was pulled out of this and can be integrated into your life, into your practice. We all have something to offer each other...this I believe, this i try to practice with each new individuals and present people in my life.
May You Be Blessed
"Put Yourself In Situations To Succeed.
Go to Dinner When You Are Tired.
You Need To Be In The Right Place At The Right Time In Order To Create Your Own 'Luck Events.'
The More 'Luck Events You Put Yourself In, The Greater Your Likelihood For Success."
^^ Written on the wall of the house I am currently staying at.
Sending LOVE to YOU!