M A S T E R Y.
Let me first off by saying, I love you. I love myself. I love my body. I love my life!
This past year has been a year of so many questions. Questions of love, doubt, security, cosmic order of the universe, spiritual depth of understanding myself and the world around, and wiping the slate clean and starting over, once again. Lets do a quick Re::run, and may this inspire you to reflect upon your past twelve months.... I intend to bring a few sentences for each month, highlighting the experience in retrospect with a photo or two.... And then...we are arrive here, right now.
January 2017. I had this deep feeling that this year was going to just kick my ass. Straight up. I knew it was a challenge steeped in challenge, brought to the surface of this humanely existence to aid in my journey towards self-mastery. I am halfway through my six month journey in asia and I wake up in India, bathing in the ganges water, awakening Lord Shiva in my heart. I continued my solo travels through Indonesia and Vietnam, which also brought forth amazing challenges and blessings. All insights to look deeper into myself... I have always LOVED solo travel. You're on your time, connecting with the moment and observing any and all patterns as they encroach on the experience of bliss. Opportunities for spiritual growth! As a solo traveler, often, things don't go quiet as one plans....you gotta be in the stream of the flow! Here we go, Mother Asia!
February 2017: Continuing the Journey through Southeast Asia! I observe deep excitement to begin to visit places I have always wanted to! Vietnam, land of PHO here I come!! aaaaaand. Never before in my life did I ever feel like I truly wanted to be vegetarian! I began to make this mindful switch here, after observing how animals are treated, it just hurt me. Not telling anyone how to live, it just hit me in my heart and I began to avoid meat for the most part. Living with my brother Thang, who is Vietnamese was such a gift! Seeing the culture of a small town in southeast Vietnam, right before meeting with my soul brother Kiefer! We bought bikes (DONT DO THAT!) and lived to tell the tale, by gods grace. Our time was short together, however, it was perfect, as my loneliness allowed me to find a comfort in my discomfort, passing my emotions of aloneness off to divine spirit....learning how to read the omens. The Alchemist taught me how to read the language of the universe. The omens kept bringing up LONDON, UK! Apply to SOAS grad school for a Masters Degree in Traditions of Yoga and Meditation for the fall of 2017. I asked for the signs and omens to guide the way.....and they did. Application sent in. Application number was 773....I knew it was happening. Cosmically supported.
March 2017. My journey took me to Cambodia with brother Raul, where I met some very special humans that are still in my life while teaching yoga at Free Flow Festival on Koh Rong, a secluded island in the southern islands of Cambodia! I learned how to spin fire with a Rope dart! Embodying the Aries/Pisces within myself.....One of the key teachings of this 6 months journey, which was coming to a close last week of April was to embody PISCES. Allow life, things, hopes, and wishes to simply come to me. instead of the Aries DO, FIRE, do DO DO! Surrendering to the wisdom keeper within, integrating an absolute knowing that what is meant to unfold, will simply be, and come to me with ease & grace, with conscious awareness. I was graced to experience Angkor Wat! This led me to Myanmar where I sat for 10 days in the central mountains in a vipassana, through the Mahasi Mahayana sect of Buddhism. 10 days of meditation..... all I'll say is: You must be willing to burn in your own flame. How could you rise anew if you did not first come from the ashes?
April 2017: This is the month my life changed forever. From Asia, I landed on Maui to be with my teacher Eddie and rejuvenate after Asia put me through a washing machine of Emotional, spiritual, and physical extremes. Eddie blessed me big time! With love, health, friendship, guidance, and laughter. Friendship. Universe has blessed me with a senior teacher of Yoga who has brought me into his life as a friend, student, family connection, and now,....business partner. He brought Purium into my life! More on this later, as I establish intention later in the year with Purium's intention. Romney was over on Kaua'i and she is one of my best friends! Her kindness bought me a ticket to Kaua'i ON my birthday! What a GIFT! Two Hawaiian islands in a couple days with two seriously influential people in my life. Thank you divine mother!! 24 hours passed and I was on my way to LA, to connect with my LA tribe! I was there for less than 24 hours....and I got the call nobody ever wants to hear. Someone you love dearly has passed to the other side. My first thought was, wow. He got out from picking me up from the airport on April 16th, like he promised when he dropped me off at DIA on October 28th, 2016. Matt Lackey Died. Life.Changed.Forever. I was on the next flight out of LAX, returning home to Boulder to Mourn and dive into Grief with my tribe. I couldn't believe this is how I was coming home.....There must be some lesson here... There has to be. Matt was terminated under divine law. I believe this & have accepted this. This was, has been, and is the single handed most spiritual experience I have ever gone through... losing a best friend and gaining a supportive essence on the other side of the veil..For the first time in my life, I stopped practicing yoga out of fear. It is so vulnerable to share this and so true, thus, it is important to reveal. I was scared to be alone....connecting with matt's soul essence while practicing Yoga brought forth the other side of the veil with extreme clarity, and truly, I could not handle it....at first. So. My practice became tears, breaking down, and prayer. For almost 45 days. The healing that comes from tears....ahhh.
May 2017. The days are painful and they are beautiful. How did Time go so quickly? I had my birthday and I traveled the world and I beat myself up for leaving Matt in this way, before he left us. Eventually, Peace found me through the help of a few friends, namely one who joined me for the Magic at Odesza later in the month. I went to Red Rocks several times this month while in Boulder, which always brought forth intense tears of BEing. Red Rocks is sacred ground, steeped in LOVE SOURCE VIBRATION. Generations of music, ceremony, and intention have painted the rocks with sound, seen and unseen, and here, I felt Matt so strongly. This month was a simple month of BEing and I learned to find Trust once again. It did not come for quite some time. I cried so much. Alone and together, our triBE connected almost every day. Holding space and navigating the stream of grief that Loosing one of our integral members of LOVEtriBE produced. I am in Awe of what is shared by my Soul tribe of Love. I remember them. There are strong Karmic ties of relationship in play here, this is for sure!
June 2017. I still have fear to get into my chair and practice yoga. I only know this fear because of the TRUTH and awareness it will bring. I am slow but sure to restart my postural practice....and it happens over time. I start walking more, I start listening again, and I find myself.... here. This month is spent between LA and Boulder, returning to the place where I found out Matt had Died. This brought up a lot of grief again, and I faced the moment with as much grace as possible. Eddie and Kristin have been reaching out and connecting with me weekly. Purium began to grow for me during this month. I needed to place my attention, energy, and focus into something that would bring powerful results. So, I began this business minded work, sharing superfoods and building a team of like-minded individuals who want to share health, wealth, and healing through organic, non-gmo superfoods. To my surprise, with just 60 days of serious work, I made over 7K, which paid for my month of July in Maui- and set the stage for me to attend Burning man and Eclipse festival...Always, when I want something, and I claim to the universe WHY I need this, It is supported. The 'how' is not important. June went by quick, as it was my last month in boulder....for the rest of the year, and I knew it. September was coming quick and I was going to be moving to London. Times to......let go of everything I think I know.
JULY 2017. Hawaii received me. I returned to Maui for the second time to study the subject of YOGA with Eddie Modestini and Kristin Bosteels. My intention this month was to Focus as a Present Student, build my business in Purium, and connect with the island. The month also brought forth an unexpected gift. Love....with Romney. Romney and I shared an Airbnb with two beautiful people in Haiku as we journeyed in the intensity of this month-long immersion. My best friend became a lover and I was in awe of how this unfolded. In This month, communication spiraled to a new level as we met each other in a new and exciting space of life, recognizing an ancient and karmic tie to one another. It is so interesting how when we stop looking for something and truly DO our own spiritual and emotional work, the universe may present us with something that we didn't expect! It is an omen to me, that all is unfolding perfectly. The order of the universe is in play. I simply give thanks for Hawaii and spirit blessing me with the presence that this connection has provided, originating during this summer month. The Yoga was intense. 7-4pm, 6 days a week, using props and getting STILL. Meeting ourselves in the moment and watching our patterns. I needed it. Desperatly. Finally.....I took savasana after avoiding it for almost three months. I cried a lot in savasana and just tried to BE with it all. It worked. I sought comfort in my discomfort, I learned to lean in to the emotions and harness the moment. I used this New Energy found and channeled it into focus for Purium, bringing in surprising income! (Maybe this is one of the answers to my questions that I have held deep within the past 3 years. How am I going to self-sustain myself in this lifestyle I LOVE to live? and....In this month, I realized that Purium is my vehicle to Financial Freedom, in order to be of service to myself and the world, through the lens of offering Yoga at a rate that I believe it is supposed to be taught at. More on that later. July was epic and it set the stage for the rest of the year! I finally smiled in love at myself! and...I cried. A lot.
August 2017. During the first week of this month, I made a pitstop in Texas to attend Purium's convention! Here I learned about the intention behind all the products, how they are made, and how epic the community (ohana) is! I was surprised to see the scientific tests brought on by dozens of products, including a new GMO-damage restoring product called Biome Medic. My conviction to work with a company grew and my intention remained stronger than before! Especially with the fact that I was about to disappear for 2 weeks in the desert and I had residual income supporting me! From Purium's convention, I returned to Boulder for about 5 days, preparing for Eclipse Festival & Burning man with the LOVES of MY LIFE! My emotions rose, in recognition that I was about to be on the road for 2.5 weeks and then return to Colorado with just 3 days left before leaving for London! LOVEtriBE met in Oregon for the eclipse festival, which was intense and amazing. A cosmic dance of the sun, moon, and earth falling into alignment, as we peered into the portal of transformation. We held a powerful ceremony for Matt, moments after the portal opened and we said goodbye.... It was beautiful and full of love-source vibration. I speak of this love-source quite often, because it is all that there is. Eclipse ended and September came around..... Romney, Kiefer, Joey, and Myself got in cars and drove to Mount Shasta for temporary restoration before Burning Man. So grateful that two of my very best friends become close. Romney and Kiefer, I love you both SO Much! You are my best friends and I am infinitely grateful for your support and reflection you share! Professionals, might you say?
September 2017. Romney, Kiefer, Joey and I are blessed by the Mount Shasta mountain spirit and healing spring waters! Kiefer bails on burning man in order to honor his body, what a truth bringer! Romney and I have powerful moments on playa, learning to play with energy, understanding entities, meeting Matt Lackey, chasing music and finding God in the sun and stars together. Our time of Sparkle magic BEings was so amazing! Karl & Joey are in love and do such an amazing job. Our camp is e p i c. My third burn! We hold an individual focused ceremony for Matt in the temple at his beautiful shrine! Burning man always teaches us so much. I'd love to go back and I listen for the playa to simply bring me back home, always if it is meant to be, it will be. Burning man Ends and Joey and I make our way back to Boulder, where I am blessed to see Romney for a few days. A couple more days pass and I'm on my way to London.
I feel confident and prepared to embark on this journey. I have Matt with me and I am ready! I love Solo Travel! I have never moved to another country and I've always wanted to try that....and so it is. London receives me and I am living in Eastern London inside a blessed flat with a beautiful human being, named Ranbir. The last two weeks of September are met with incredible excitement, molded with deep anxiety. In retrospect, I recognize my confidence and I also laugh in cosmic humor as to how much I had my ass kicked by the initiation rite of landing in London. I felt lost. I am startled by how cold everything and everyone seems to be. I have to get used to the lack of connection 'strangers' live off of. It's just different coming from Hawaii, Colorado, and Burning Man Vibration! Here we go.....
October 2017. I am feeling confident. I have sparkle magic in my heart. I am feeling convicted to be in London and begin this masters degree in Traditions of Yoga and Meditation. School starts and it overwhelms me. The culture begins to dim my light. I almost let it....I try and fight back by illuminating my love for life. It is really hard. I'm alone. So much essay writing, reading, and new insight being transmitted. It scares me, honestly. I wasn't sure If I could handle the new information being sent through, which I came to learn that, Of course, I can and I will. It is my destiny to be here in this moment, living in London, away from everything I know, learning about God, spirit, and myself. Half of October goes by, and it seems my sparkle magic fades away. The grey hues of the sky reflect my emotional state. The sun rarely shines. I'm starting not to smile as much. I cry more. I feel alone. I do receive support from almost a dozen LOVEtriBE'rs, getting an assurance that yes, indeed, this is meant to be. I also realize I have been missing something. I haven't been teaching Yoga consistently since October 2016. ONE YEAR, which was my intention, to take a year off and dive deeper into Student Studies. Which I did! So....I set the intention to teach yoga, and by the end of the month, I had a weekly class starting in November. It seems my manifestation powers were still online, not dampened by the walls of London. Love Source is still here....I am reminded, despite feeling alone in the Dark Night Of The Soul. Matt shows up for me daily. It is so intense here. How did I get here? (Oh, yeah, I asked for it. I asked for transformation and change. Right.) The that comes which will help me dispel a 90 day period of deep anxiety... What will need to be, will be. What will need to be, will be. What will need to be, will be.
November 2017. I stop smiling at strangers and try my best to remind myself of the divine support I have. No matter how deep I get into the Dark Night of the Soul, realizing I am in the Dark Hymn of my very own Creation in Life, I pray. I pray, I pray, I pray. I pray for peace, clarity, and connection. I receive one miracle of human connection a day. It is intense, and although grad school seems to be kicking my ass, I am getting a hold on my essays, despite whining about it. I got myself into this grad school mess, and God BLESS it, I will get myself out! The only way out is THROUGH! Teaching yoga this month grounds me back down into remembering my intention as to why I'm here, which is a very positive omen. As I write this in January, I reflect on how supportive teaching yoga is for me in my life, demanding connection to those who are in front of me, so this becomes an incredible service to my time living in London. I see Nicolas Jaar in Paris which was weird and amazing. I am alone. I cry a lot on the tube. I listen to Trevor hall daily. He helps my loneliness. Ranbir and I cultivate our friendship, and We learn from one another. My practice is back in full connection. I feel I am finding God in a new way, as I learn the hymns within ancient scriptures of yoga. I am learning more about myself than I am learning from this Masters Degree..... Interesting.
Halfway through November, Greta comes to visit me and the tides shift from depression to forming the foundation back into acceptance. I'm having a really hard time and I have accepted it, not rejecting it, just BEING with IT. My Prayer for a miracle and connection is answered, and Greta shines a light on my dimmed heart, which reAwakens my illumination for living in Europe. I am so grateful for her sisterhood to come and bless me with loving presence. Days after she leaves, I get a job in London because Purium isn't enough to stabilize me. I need more money to live here! I sell my beloved Handpan (which I will buy another in 2018/2019 from my first 10K made in a month brought in by Purium!) I work at a 5-star Indian Cafe as a host, which allows me not to feel as lonely, needing to not only make ends meet, but also to inspire YOGA, LOVE, and PRESENCE within the walls of the intensity that is the restaurant service realm.
Last weekend of November I go to Sweden to re:connect with a SOUL brother, Phillip. We get lost and found in the Boreal Forest of southern Sweden while finding pieces of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine within ourselves, knowing that we are the spirit and breath of God. I love Philip, and our brotherhood is divine! Perhaps....time brings him to Colorado, we Shall see!
DECEMBER 2017. I am eternally reminded of L O V E source. Love source is all. There is no higher power than LOVE, and it is within us all. My time in nature while visiting Sweden reminded me of this and prepared me for two more weeks in London, before heading to Hawaii to reconnect with Romney, surprise my tribe in Colorado for Xmas, and explore Italy over NYE with my cousin. The two weeks of London time are spent focusing on essay and understanding divine purpose of this moment. I am learning to be Hyper Present and exist in what is NOW. Through it all, I'm feeling such darkness. It's almost overwhelming and I'm praying for a break. Thankfully, ocean spirit and mountain spirit blesesd me. Hearing from Divine Mother that I AM a vessel of limitless potential and miracles flow through me where coming through my consciousness daily. I am trying to listen. The New Energy of this Life is represented in all things. Nothing can ever separate us from the LOVE SOURCE that is present.
I am in full acceptance of the dark times I feel I'm in. London is not a Dark Place, despite me feeling it is. Eventually, the Hawaiian spirit and Colorado Mountain spirit reflected to me, that it is just the period of life that I am in, now. A period of deep inner transformation, which has been strong dark work, originating with love. Love is within the intent to grow. Through my darkness, my Light expands. I am a warrior of Light, and I am here to do this work, which involves solitude at this time. While on Kaua'i with Romney, great connection is felt from the 'aina (island), Romney, her animals, and myself. I request permission from the island to return in April, watching for the signs, omens, and feelings to arise to support the intention to BE present. During this time, the channelings of Kryon reveal themselves to me. A book channeled through LOVE for human kind, learning how to communicate with our guides, co-create for ourselves, and exist with soul divine understanding. I am grateful for the Kryon Energy helping me learn how to communicate to the other side of the veil, especially during this challenging time of growth in my life!
Colorado TriBE is nourishing! At a cellular level, I feel restored. My Soul feels touched and reminded that I AM STRONGER THAN I THINK, remembering my Soul Essence. Ten days pass quickly, and I travel to Italy, where I have always wanted to go! Rome is amazing. The food, the wine, the structural foundations set with the intention of God in heart, Rome blessed me with excitement to be back in Europe.
January, midnight, 2018. My cousin Tessa and I sit on the streets of Rome with a stick of Palosanto. Fireworks that are as intense as Bombs are going off, which creates the space for a shield of Presence and Light to open up around us. With intention I claim to my guides I am ready for the implant change, Master Guide shift (read Kryon Book 1, it's on amazon, it is potent New Information ready to be shared with you...) which successfuly creates shift for this new year portal to open with LOVE! I cannot hear a word Tessa is saying, however I feel her connection to the moment and the clarity coming through with our shared moment. I am grateful to have spent at least 4 NYE with my cousin!
And now, I am back in London. Day 3 of 2018.
I am blessed and grateful for London. FINALLY i feel this way! Right on time. It feels.... good to be back in London. I have the blessing to teach yoga weekly, I am grateful to have a job at a credible place that serves amazing Indian food, I am fortunate to have Purium supporting me with income that will take me back to Hawaii for several months come spring time! My time here feels Divine. Deep in the cave of Creation, communing with MYSELF. I feel I am dating myself and loving myself through the hard times of aloneness and self-reflection and action.
I am going to focus on grad school, despite feeling disapointed by my international studies. I am not a fan of old-paradigm studies, where the professor just seems to be regurgitating information from the paper in front of them. That's tough for me. It's all a lesson for me, and I'm seeing this clearly now. I am in love with the obstacle in front of me. I am here and ready!
I have three months left in this country before Returning home and I feel extreme conviction to DO this WORK. I'm in for the second set of the show. (Thanks, keif). I am here to watch for experiences and patterns as they arise, noting them, going into them, and handling the hardship, the bliss, the moment. I have an arsenal of spiritual tools, namely the single most important one, L O V E.
I am recognizing The subject of Self-discovery arising for me while living in London. There is a bridge between the Human ego, 'me' and the universal soul essence coming up in daily duality. Understanding this bridge, to me, is understanding that I am piece of God, which allows me to have a greater understanding of my time here on earth, in lesson. Self-Discovery is DRIPPING in potency right now, for all of us. I am in Trust and Faith that my guides are paving the way for me to walk forward into empowerment, accessing new energy to harness, control, and transform.
2017, kicked my ass! 2017 brought hardship, absolute LOVE, new brothers and sisters, along with incredible opportunity for next level spiritual growth at the human level. 2018, I am ready for you and open my heart to you as a vessel of service. I have faith and Believe in my Self.
I am signing off for now and I may not post for a while! I am called to be Here, to Be Present in my Now Experience.
May this inspire you to reflect upon your past year and look into the next 12 months with intention, clarity, hope, and faith. I intentionally haven't shared my own personal goals for 2018, other than a few, hidden in code, which you may have understood.... Another time for that, mainly as these intentions are continued to be cultivated within my own Being and I am in communication with my guides on them.
I am here to share with you YOGA & my superfood intention. If you would like to learn more about the healing foods or participate in our 10 day health reset, lifestyle shift happening on January 20th, 2018 email me! email@example.com & We can answer any of your questions.
May we walk forward with Truth Emanating from our very Being, Light shining from our eyes, and LOVE spreading from our lips. in Love,
Alec Vishal Rouben